21
by Sketch
Summary: A collection of short stories, centered around Organization members 8 and 13. There are major spoilers in each story, so read at your own risk! Stories not written in order of time, but in order of when the plots come to me, so expect timeline changes.
1. Nobody in Particular

**Nobody in Particular **

"So, you're finally awake, huh?"

Bleary eyes tried to adjust to the darkness and shift to where the voice was coming from, but all he could make out in the dim light was a shadowy figure that faded into the hazy background. He groaned softly, bringing up leaden arms to scrub at his face, trying to clear some of the fog from his eyes, but the effort cost him, and his arms sank to his sides again. His mouth was dry and sour, as though he'd just woken up, but he couldn't quite remember when he'd fallen asleep. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember anything, though his aching head kept him from trying to think too hard. He clutched at it as it throbbed, wishing he could just stop thinking for a moment to lessen the ache. Hands swan into his vision, the annoyingly loud voice coming again.

"Hey, you're awake, right? Hey! Can you sit up?"

The voice had gotten closer, close enough, apparently, to lift him to a sitting position, and support him as he swayed dizzily. The room whirled around, and he felt as though he'd be sick, but the thought of getting up to find some place to vomit, and all that effort he'd have to put into actually getting up to find a place made him feel even worse. The prospect of it made him groan again, but surprisingly, this was answered by a laugh. One of the hands supporting him left, only to return with a cup that was pushed into his hands.

"I know what you mean, buddy. I remember I felt the same way when I woke up. Here, drink this, and things'll look a whole lot better, promise." He did as he was told, and the cool drought brought instant relief to his parched mouth, and burned away the residual drowsiness in his limbs. The figure in front of him came more into focus as well, although it was still difficult to discern the black robe from the dark shadows around them.

"Thanks," he rasped, then coughed as the drink went down the wrong way. Again, the figure laughed, smacking him on the back and handing him another bottle.

"Not so fast this time, kiddo, or you'll drown yourself in elixer. That'd be a nasty way to go, wouldn't it?" He didn't respond, resenting the "kiddo" and the man's laughter at his expense. Instead, he focused on drinking the second bottle more slowly, and sitting up on his own. The man's hand still rested on his back, and he shrugged it off, putting the empty vial onto the ledge before hopping off the side. He splashed into the puddle that had pooled beneath his rock- a fallen support beam or something similar, by the looks of it- and blinked as he took in his surroundings. The place was dark, the bright city lights doing little to illuminate the sky, or make the streets any less dreary. The water that he'd splashed into was decidedly an inky black, as if it refused to even acknowledge the few lights that twinkled in their little nook of the street. Looking around, he felt certain he'd never been here before.

"Where am I?" The figure waved his question aside, putting a hand on one hip while gesticulating with the other.

"Eh, we're pretty much on what you could consider the doorstep to the organization's stronghold. This city isn't really all that important. What is important," the man continued, bringing down the wayward hand to point, "is who, exactly, are you?"

He bristled at the jab the taller man had given him, pushing the hand away and shuffling away from the man, staring off into the deserted city streets.

"I don't know. I can't remember. Why can't I remember anything?" He glared back at the man, whose lean figure was reclining back against the building's wall. The man didn't even flinch as his voice grew louder. "Why can't I remember? Nothing, not even my own..." he broke off, something tickling the back of his mind, as though a memory was trying to resurface but couldn't find a way out. Letters came into his head, jumbled and vague. S. He knew there had been an S in his name, and there was another letter, R, he knew that one was in there too. He couldn't think of which way they went, though, and where the O and the A fit in, and did he have an X in his name too? Xoras? Sorax? Raxos?

"Roxas," the figure said, startling him out of his thoughts, "your name is Roxas." He looked at the man, but the figure had turned to look out over the dark city, and the voice had gotten softer- well, less obnoxiously cheerful, anyway. And then, the man reached up and pulled back his hood, and Roxas took a step back. He wasn't sure how it had been physically possible for the man to stuff all of that brilliant red hair into the hood, but the brilliant flame was a welcome contrast to the dismal darkness. The man turned around, and the grin he was giving Roxas was nearly as blinding as his hair. The redhead tapped his head. "Got it memorized?"

Roxas scowled, glaring off into the distance. "I do now. If you knew who I was, why'd you ask?" He sighed, looking past the man and into the street once more. "But why can't I remember anything? What happened to me? I feel... weird." The redhead stopped smiling, and instead gave an apologetic shrug.

"Does it really matter? If you can't remember everything right now, so what? Memories aren't everything. Just be content and know that you're here now. The rest'll come later."

Roxas glowered again,. Not really happy with this simple statement, and crossed his arms. His right hand brushed against his chest, however, and the odd, empty feeling came back over him again. He must have flinched, because the redhead's gaze and voice softened.

"The hollow feeling will go away too. Promise. Now, c'mon. We need to get back." Roxas paused, a little leery of following the overly-cheerful man.

"Go where? To do what? What's going on?" Roxas questioned, but instead of answering immediately, the redhead laughed again, waving him to follow.

"You'll find out soon enough. It's nothing all that exciting, really, it's just that the boss-man wants to meet you, and he gets cranky if you keep him waiting too long. C'mon, let's get moving." Roxas, however, stayed where he was, still unsure. The man waited, saw his reluctance, and sighed, putting his hands on his hips and leaning down to come eye to eye with Roxas.

"Unless you've got somewhere more important to be?" Roxas scowled at him, and the man grinned again, seeing he'd won the argument. He turned around, and headed back into the streets, once again waving for Roxas to follow. "Glad that's settled then. Good! Let's head on out. It's not that far."

Roxas shuffled behind the redhead, kicking at puddles as they walked down the street.

"Just who are you, anyway?" he muttered as the redhead whistled in front of him. The man flashed him another grin over the shoulder.

"Nobody in particular," he laughed, but stopped, and waited for Roxas to catch up. He winked. "But you can call me Axel."

Roxas found himself smiling back, and fell into step beside Axel, walking in the street again. He didn't know why, but he was pretty sure he'd grow to like the man, despite his apparent overly-optimistic outlook. He just had a hunch that they'd be friends. He let himself laugh, and tapped his own head.

"I'll be sure to keep it memorized."


	2. Shadow Puppets

**Shadow Puppets**

"Damnit! Someone's been screwin' with the master program, and now the damn buggers are a mess!" Cid's cigar remained tenaciously hanging from his mouth, the glowing butt wobbling with each curse and expletive. Cloud had always wondered how it was physically possible for the man to keep the cigar from ever falling out, and had always been rather transfixed by the bobbing ember. He stared at its hypnotic path as Cid's cursing continued. It could go for quite some time, he knew, but he'd never been affected by the words so much as the cigar that was ever-present and forever dangling at that precarious angle. He allowed himself to be mesmerized for a few moments longer before shaking his head, bringing his attention back into focus. Things needed to be done, and it wouldn't do for him to lose sight of the mission now. He forced himself to speak, interrupting a rather colorful train of swears coming from the older man's mouth.

"So you need us to get down to the main computer system, is that what you're telling us?" Cid glared at him for interrupting, but nodded, taking the cigar from his mouth. Cloud watched the movement, but said nothing, as the former pilot would finally come to the point.

"I need someone down there to stop the flow of those damn nobodies and heartless, keep 'em at bay while I work on a way to patch up the system and get that Tron program back up and running" he grumbled, puffing away at the stub and scratching his chin stubble. "It'd be a hell of a lot easier if we had the kid here to take 'em out, but since we don't, you lot will have to do." There was a squeal of indignation from Yuffie as Cid said this, but the older man ignored her, pointing to a map of the town.

"Leon, Cloud, I want you two to head on down to the castle, see if you can figure out what the hell is going on with the damn system. I sent up a message to the kid's ship, maybe those striped squirrels will be able to get a hold of him and get 'em all over here to help out. Til then, you're in charge of making sure they don't get any farther than they already have. Girls," he said, turning to the peevish teenager and Aerith," I'm givin you two cleanup duty here in town, to clear out the ones who've made it this far. Merlin'll do what he can to help, but in the meantime, I need to get this program sorted out. Go on, now, get out there and get to work!" And with a final mumbled curse under his breath, Cid turned to his computer and began pounding away at the keyboard.

Aerith placed a hand on the still fuming Yuffie's shoulder, and nodded, which seemed to calm the girl down a bit. Then she looked up at Cloud, smiled, and headed out the door, taking the ninja with her. Leon looked to Cloud, who was already heading out the door.

"Do you want to hit the maw, or take a look at the computer?" the brunette asked as they picked their way through the borough streets. So far, the heartless were fairly easy to fight, and they seemed to be more interested in fighting against the nobodies anyway, so that was something, at least. Who knew how long that would last though? Cloud peered down at the castle, then looked to the chasm where the enemies were pouring out.

"I want to go take a look at the situation, see if I can do something to distract them to give you a little more time. You head to the castle, and let me take care of the heartless." He shifted the weight of his blade to the other shoulder, frowning at the fighting black and white forms. "I don't understand... where did the nobodies come from? They've been here before, but not in such great numbers... do you think one of the organization members is here?" Leon's usually somber face darkened.

"Probably. Keep your guard up, and call me if you need backup. I'll be as quick as I can." Cloud nodded, and the gunblade weilder jumped off the broken edge of the wall, cutting his way through up the path and quickly disappearing from view. Cloud turned his attention back to the black and white battle going on below him, frowning as the nobodies were slowly but surely pushing the heartless back. The dusks swayed back and forth as the shadows jumped at them, then melted back into the ground to pop up at another point. To see the obvious confusion of the dusks was, admittedly, rather amusing, but he didn't have time for fun. He studied the movements of the creatures, watching as a nobody destroyed a heartless, only to be destroyed in return. Things might have continued like this forever, but Cloud was hardly one to sit and wait for things to happen.

Jumping down into the middle of the group, Cloud struck out with his sword, catching some of the nobodies off-guard as they scattered under the force of his blade. Getting over their initial surprise, however, they quickly changed tactics and grouped against his exposed side, dodging the large sword and darting in to jab underneath the blade. Cloud gritted his teeth, irritated. Heartless were bad enough by themselves, nobodies equally so, but _smart_ heartless and nobodies really took the cake. He deflected another attack and sent the large metallic heartless into a gaggle of nobodies. He hoped Leon would hurry his ass up and get out here again. Not that Cloud couldn't handle it, it was just annoying having to take them all on by himself.

The decline in the number of heartless attacking him and the increasing number of nobodies surrounding him didn't phase him. The sudden swell and resurgence of their numbers, however, did, and he was pushed back up the broken steps, backing slowly across the shambles of the decorated ground. The nobodies stopped, however, right outside of the frame of the square, swaying back and forth and looking rather miffed. He stopped, surprised, until he realized he hadn't looked behind him yet. He spun, and sure enough, a hooded figure stood behind him. To make matters worse, the man was laughing rather derisively, and clapping his hands.

"Bravo, Strife. Bravo. Really. Good job," said the man, stepping towards Cloud, "I was wondering how the 'Great Cloud Strife' would do against so many. Not bad, I must say. But I must say, you're still not as efficient at killing as your late superior, I'm afraid. Close, but not quite there yet. Really, and here I thought you were so intent on killing Sephiroth too. If you can't take out a few nobodies though, will you ever be able to face him? Whoa!" The figure leapt back and Cloud struck out at him, the wide blade coming centimeters from contact. Cloud drew back the sword and prepared for another try.

"Shut up, you. I don't recognize you, where the one who's usually coming around here? Where's Demyx? And who are you?" Cloud paused as the figure pushed back his hood to reveal flaming red hair, staring openly. This seemed to irritate the redhead.

"What? You've never seen anyone with red hair before or what? I'm the master of flames, I should have red hair! No one, and I mean no one- except maybe Roxas- who says anything about my hair gets away with it! So, you have something you wanna say to me or what?"

Cloud lowered his sword, still staring.

"Zack?"

Whatever the redhead had been expecting, it wasn't that. The indignation blew out of him like smoke, deflating him somewhat.

"What? No, my name's Axel," and, gaining back a little confidence, he posed, tapping his head, "commit it to memory!" Cloud was nonplussed. He was, in actuality, very confused, moreso than usual, anyway. He ignored the redhead's adamant insistence that his name was, in actuality, Axel, instead pressing on as though he hadn't heard the other man.

"Zack, I can't believe it's you! It's been... years. I thought you were dead!" he shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the other man. Axel just stared at him. Cloud continued. "I heard you'd been killed by the Turks, and here I was, thinking my best friend was dead when in reality he'd just gone off and got a really bad dye job somewhere and called himself a weird variation of his former name. Zack, how could you?"

Axel raised his hands in defense.

"Hey, don't look at me. My name is Axel. I don't have anything to do with this Zack guy, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped making fun of my hair." Cloud took another step towards Axel, sword raised again. Apparently listening wasn't one of his skills.

"You left and went off and did whatever the Hell you wanted, without once thinking of any of us! You didn't even say goodbye to me," he muttered, looking down in thought, then he looked up again, his blue eyes narrowing. "What's more, you didn't say anything to Aerith! How do you think she'll feel when I tell her you left us to do God knows what? That you're now actually working against us? That's as good as siding with Sephiroth! Zack-" Cloud stopped as Axel disappeared from in front of him, and stilled as an orange tinted blade came against his throat. Axel's voice was rather light, given the situation, though the low voice was chilling.

"Listen up, Strife, I'm only going to tell you once more. Name is Axel. I'm the organization's number eight man, and even though that might not be all that close to number one, eight is still a decent enough number, and it deserves some respect. The only reason I'm not killing you right here and now is because Demyx probably would be pissed when he found out I came down to his turf while he was off doing things, and I really don't want to have to deal with him when he gets back. I've got enough things to worry about as it is. So, just be the good guy that I'm sure you're angsting to be and call a guy by his name, ok? Axel. Got it memorized?"

Cloud drove his elbow into Axel's gut, making the taller man go "oof!" before disappearing to avoid the blade that was whistling towards him. He reappeared, back in his initial position across from Cloud, and sighed, shaking his head.

"Man, you're one tough cookie, you know that? Ah well. Much as I'd like to play "dodge the insanely-oversized-sword" all day, I'm afraid duty calls. Lovely meeting you, Choco-boy." Axel stuck out his tongue, and turned to leave.

"Wait!", said Cloud, stopping Axel's retreat, though not turning him. The redhead put up his hands, sighing.

"Look, I don't know what else I can do to explain to you that my name is-"

"Axel, wait."

This succeeded in catching the redhead's attention, and he looked back over his shoulder to see Cloud staring at him. And not talking anymore. Axel frowned, raising his eyebrows to indicate 'what?' Cloud looked away.

"You're a nobody." Axel sighed again, running fingers through his hair.

"Well, thank for the obvious, Strife, it's been a pleasure, but-"

"You're _his_ nobody." Axel laughed, turning to face Cloud once again.

"C'mon, I might look like your friend, but I'm telling you, my name is Axel, and-"

"No, you've got to be. Same build, same hairdo-though you didn't look quite as crazy with black hair-, same cocky, care-free attitude..." Axel shook his head at each one.

"And you're saying that there can't be other guys out there who happen to have the same characteristics?" Cloud shook his head.

"I'm saying there aren't any other guys out there who have the same characteristics, _and_ who know my last name," Cloud said, putting down his sword again," I didn't tell anyone what is was when I came to Radiant Gardens. They just know me as Cloud." Axel opened his mouth to say something, but closed it with a snap, folding his arms and looking away. Cloud smiled as he recognized the gesture.

"Also," he said, walking over to the shadow of his friend, "no one but you ever called me 'Choco-boy'." Axel frowned at him, and turned. He was silent for a moment, then spoke softly.

"I couldn't remember anything when I first woke up, and in the organization, I didn't need to. By the time I remembered most of what happened, it didn't matter anymore, because I was already in it for the long haul. Besides," he said with a sudden laugh, "I had to watch over Roxas. That kid needed all the help he could get when he started out. Clueless beyond compare. Also angsted enough to rival you," he said with a wink in Cloud's direction. His face suddenly got sad, and he turned again. "Being around him, made me remember the good times we had, before- well, you know. And I knew he was a special kid, so I tried to help him out best I could. When he left... well, there was nothing more for me to do except hang out at the organization, you know? Otherwise, I would've done something more to help him out."

"He's still alive, you know," said a voice behind them both. Had Cloud been the excitable kind, he would have jumped. As it was, he simply continued to watch Axel. As for Axel, he cringed a little, then gave a weak smile.

"Yeah. I know. But it's not the same, you know? Not that Sora's not a great kid, I'm sure he is, but... Well, it's different when you don't have a heart. I don't know how else to explain it. Roxas was great because he understood, or at least, he knew enough to know we were different from others, and that he was different from everyone else. Haha, you should've seen the expression on his face when he'd beaten Riku the first time that punk came to try to 'collect' him! Grinning like an idiot and strutting around, reminded me of when I got into SOLDIER, or that time we managed to prank the General before he realized we'd changed the password response to 'give us a kiss'. Hehehe.." he quieted down, then smiled at the two of them, grinning somewhat malevolently.

"You know, Cloud, if you stopped moping all the time, you might notice the girl you were angsting over is perfectly alright now, and that you've got friends around here that'll help you out. Speaking of which... I think Squeon is coming back, so that's my cue to leave. It's been great reminiscing and all, but things to do, hearts to steal, places to go and all that." He mock saluted and began to saunter off, then stopped, as though a thought came to him.

"Sora'll be ok, I know he will because I know Roxas. But I'm gonna keep an eye on him, just in case. I'd hate to think anything would happen to that guy." Cloud wondered which 'guy' he meant, but said nothing. Aerith spoke up again instead.

"That's good to know, Zack, and I'm sure he'll appreciate it. But, will we see you again?" Axel laughed, shaking his head.

"Nah. Just thought I'd stop by, see how you guys were doing, then go on my way. I've gotta run, guys. I think Demyx'll be coming back soon, so keep on your toes, look smart, keep your nose clean and all that. Cloud, don't talk to shady men with long silver hair, Aerith, don't forget to water your flowers. See you guys around!" He waved over his shoulder and disappeared into the darkness, taking the remaining nobodies with him. Leon joined them again a few moments later.

"So," he said, "was it the organization afterall?" Cloud stared off over the cliff overlooking the maw, then shook his head, heading back to the borough.

"It was a shadow puppet, one that's broken free of its strings and is only now understanding the true meaning of freedom." and with that, the blonde left the scene.

Leon, never one to admit to not having a clue as to what the Hell the enigmatic blonde said meant, did not want to be outdone in a battle of wits, nor did he wish to lose his 'cool' attitude by admitting he was confused as to what had just happened. So, he fell back on the ritualistic response he always gave when he didn't feel like thinking it through all the way.

"Hnn." was all he said, and headed back after the blonde.

Aerith looked back over the maw, and smiled softly.

"Goodbye Zack, Axel. We'll meet again someday." And then, she too headed up towards Merlin's house, pausing only to watch the gummyship descending through the clouds. Cid would doubtless have new orders for them, and with Sora's arrival, she was sure they would be able to get everything back to normal soon. With a smile, she picked up her pace, and began to plan the new garden she would plant when everything had settled down.

owari


	3. I Would

**I Would**

You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Not that I'm really supposed to, of course. Xenmas is always getting on us about not thinking and just doing, but you know, you stick around long enough and you just can't help but start to ponder the deeper meanings in life, you know?

Mostly, I've been thinking about life.

Well, ok, not really life, but existence in general, because, really, what does it mean to be alive? Are you only alive if you have a heart? Or is it the consciousness that makes us who we are, that makes us "real"? It's the age old tree falling in the woods question, but that's not usually life or death. Well, maybe for the tree it is, and any flora and fauna that happen to be in the way of the falling tree, but I mean for us. You hear the tree, you don't, life goes on. But the heart? You have a heart, you exist, but if you don't, you're nothing? I'm someone, same as you. I just happen to be nobody in particular. A nobody.

Which again, is kinda funny, when you think about it, because I do have a body. Or a corporeal form of some sort. Does that make me someone, even though I'm technically not? Yeah, maybe Xenmas was right; maybe I do think too much.

You know, I blame all this thinking on him. I was a happy-go-lucky member of the organization, keeping my head down, doing what I was told and "living" a fairly blithe existence. But then that kid came to the castle, and all that conspiracy started up, just to get an over-sized house key. Unreal, you know? And when I actually met Roxas, well... I realized then that it didn't really matter what happened later, the here and now was what was important. Well, ok, maybe not right away- he had some choice words when we first met, and it took a while to get the kid to warm up. But I like to think that he came to appreciate me being there. I know I certainly enjoyed the time we spent together- the kid brother I never had, you know? Or, that is, if I had a kid brother, the one I can't remember anymore, being a nobody and everything. Or... nevermind, I'm confusing myself. Anyway, the kid make me think, wonder about who I was before, and wonder who I would be in the future, if I actually had a future.

I think we all knew that we didn't. Have a future, that is. After all, when you go around calling yourself "nobody", you're not really setting your expectations very high, are you? Except for him. It all keeps coming back to him, I know, but there's a reason, really. I think it's just that he was different from us. He didn't know whose nobody he was, but we did. He never worried about the darkness coming to reclaim him totally, he just grinned and dared you further as he kept on plowing ahead. He never looked back to make sure you were following, he just knew you would. And you knew you'd follow him, so why sweat the small stuff?

So when I saw him again, the kid that was Roxas but not, I hated him. Sora took away the only thing that ever made me feel close to human... and I hated him for taking that one warmth and happiness from me. Take my best friend- my only friend, even- then pretend he doesn't exist? Like it or not, Roxas grew to be his own self- the nobody who was somebody. Nobody seems to want to acknowledge it, but he became his own person. Somebody important. Not just for the keyblade... But because he was just himself. I like to think that I could forgive Sora, because he seems like a great kid, a lot like Roxas even, but... I can't.

Or maybe I just can't forgive Roxas for leaving. He knew he wouldn't come back when he left. His defeat over Riku the first time might have made him lower his guard a little, made him cocky and vulnerable, but maybe not. Riku's accusations and demands for him to return to his body shook him, and I think he knew at that point that he was different. He became so cold, so distant, so ..heartless, pardon the pun. But I think that was just to cover up the fact that he was scared. Scared of finding out who he really was, and what he would become. And what would become of him. Would he be forgotten, once Sora had awoken?

I shouted at him that I would miss him, and I would. I do, and I always will. But I also know that if it comes to helping out Sora on his last mission, I'll give up what's left of my existence to help him. I might be nobody important, a nobody that doesn't exist technically exist, a nobody without a heart, but that will be the beauty of it, don't you see? A nobody, giving up the existence he doesn't technically have, because the heart he doesn't have tells him it's the right thing to do. I wouldn't even be trying to make a point, which would make the act all the more noble. I'd just be doing it for him, and that would be enough. Poetic Justice at it's finest- if darkest- hour, and that suits me just fine, because I was never really one for light anyway.

And really, if you think about it, I'll always be remembered, so I'll always exist in a way. Roxas can keep me in his newly regained heart, and that'll be enough for me. He'll remember me, and my existence-or lack thereof- won't be quite so meaningless. Who wouldn't gladly give up their life, to help out their best friend? Who wouldn't want to get one last chance to say goodbye, and let them know that you'd give your all to give them a hand? Who wouldn't sacrifice everything, in the name of love and friendship?

I know I would.

owari


	4. Phantom Memories

**Phantom Memories**

Roxas couldn't say for sure what woke him up. Perhaps it was the absolute silence of the room, the way the darkness congealed in corners to cover and block out the impossibly white walls of his room. But then, it was always like that, once you closed the door and turned off the lights. The castle was never loud, but at least with the door open, you could hear the whisperings of the lesser nobodies shuffling from room to room in their patrols, or, depending on the time, the occasional bits of conversation that drifted through the halls. But the corridor outside his room was silent, the light completely gone, the room still. What then, had disturbed his sleep?

He tossed and turned for several minutes, trying to find a comfortable position, but, after many futile attempts, he gave up. He sat up and stretched, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and feeling around the floor for a shirt. Finding nothing, he gave up in that endeavor as well, and stood up, heading towards the door. He braced himself, and opened the panel.

The brilliant light flooded into the room, momentarily blinding him, but it didn't matter. He knew the corridor well enough to walk it with his eyes closed, and he did so, trying to adjust his vision to the intense whiteness of the room. Why didn't they allow people to dim the lights in this stupid place? There would be far fewer accidents if they did- just look at Xigbar, a case in point. The man had been blinded by the hallway light, and thus not seen the statue at eye-level right across from his room. Xenmas had argued that the other man wouldn't have seen it anyway, and a minor fight had broken out. In the end, Xenmas had won, and Xigbar's only consolation was the free eyepatch he'd been given. Not much, but then, it wouldn't be the first time anyone had called the organization's boss heartless.

Not that he had been with the organization at that point. He'd been told the story the day that he'd arrived, as the redhead who had found him had introduced him to everyone. Roxas snickered as he remembered the antics of Axel that day, and blinked away the residual spots that swam in his vision as he stepped out onto the balcony.

The harsh, sterile environment of the hallway dimmed as he stepped further out onto the building's outcrop, the light dispersing somewhat as the darkness closed in. The city lights twinkled far below, mute stars in the inky blackness of the streets. Above, the ever growing heart-shaped moon cast its golden glow on him, and he basked in the soft light. If he still had a heart, he'd say it made him happy. As it was, he could only say he was always drawn towards the light.

He hopped up onto one of the square support beams that jutted out into the night sky, hanging his legs over the edge and leaning into the statue the beam supported. The organization's keep was ever an odd assortment of shapes, everything about it backwards and cold. Even the delicately carved curve of the statue he leaned against was sharp, though he'd long since figured out a comfortable position, this being his favorite spot of retreat. When things got too loud around the others, or when the nights grew too quiet, he would sit here and stare at the moon, finding comfort in its silent presence.

"Can't sleep, huh?" Roxas almost fell off the stone block, so startled was he by the sudden voice. He hadn't heard Axel, even seen the man, and despite the fact that the redhead had been sitting in plain sight. Granted, the fire user had been sitting on the roof, and he was hardly expected to look in weird places like on top of a statue's head. Instead of replying, Roxas shook his head. Axel gave a strained smile, and looked back up at the moon.

"Me neither." Roxas waited, watching the older man's fidgeting fingers on the drawstrings of his cloak. By the look of it, Axel hadn't gone to bed yet, still dressed and ready for action at any minute. Seeing him like that, Roxas felt underdressed, crossing his arms over his bare chest before turning back to gaze up at the heart-shaped moon. He didn't want to pry, since the other was obviously upset, but he also didn't want to seem callous. Roxas didn't know what else to do, and besides, he didn't have a heart, so he shouldn't feel so miserable seeing the older man so agitated, right? Unfortunately, he wasn't quite able to convince himself.

"Do you want me to go find another place?" Roxas didn't really want to leave, considering it was well known this was the balcony _he_ always went to, and the others usually respected his unspoken claim, but he didn't want to intrude on the other's need for space. Thankfully, though, Axel gave a little laugh and shook his head, jumping down to walk towards Roxas.

"Nah. It's big enough for two of us, right? Unless you want me to leave, that is." The statement was more of a question, and the shake of Roxas' head relaxed Axel a bit. The red head sat down next to the blonde, following his gaze up to the yellow moon. After a moment, he spoke again, quietly.

"I came here because I was hoping you'd be here. You know, didn't want to be alone or anything." Roxas stared at the older man, confused. Axel laughed.

"Well, ok, maybe you don't know. Whatever. I just knew you had weird sleeping habits, and figured you'd be someone to talk to if you were here. I just hung around because I couldn't think of anywhere else to go." Roxas blinked, then looked away.

"I'm not really sure how much I make very good company, but you're welcome to stay," he replied, staring back up at the moon. He added as an afterthought, "you're the only one who really talks to me, anyway."

Axel laughed again, turning from the moon to look over at Roxas.

"That, my friend," he said, nudging the blonde lightly with his shoulder," is because you act like a cold fish around everyone else. They think you're vapid."

"I'm not vapid!" shouted Roxas, a little louder than he meant to. He reddened as Axel's laugh grew louder. He sniffed and looked away as Axel got his chuckling under control, and kept a steady gaze on the spotless white ground below them. He felt his cheeks grow a little warmer as he spoke again. "Do you really mean it?"

"Mean what, kiddo?" Roxas scowled at Axel's apparently favorite pet-name, but pushed on, albeit shyly.

"Am I really... your friend?" He yelped as the other man's hand landed on his head and ruffled his hair in a highly undignified manner. Axel kept a firm grip, though, grinning down at the scowling boy beside him.

"I told you before, we don't have hearts, so we can't feel normal emotions. We don't have the ability to have friends, because we can't care for them." He let go of Roxas' head, and softened his smile. Leaning over, he poked Roxas in the chest, directly over where his heart would be. "However," he said, "I'd like to think we've gotten to a point where we can consider our relationship as close to friendship as a nobody can ever be. I _am_ the only one who talks to you, remember." He grinned down at Roxas, who smiled back, his cheeks still slightly pink.

"Aaa," he replied, his smile widening a little, "I'd like that." Axel gave him a thumbs up, and then turned back to face the moon. Roxas brought up his knees to rest his chin upon, then looked back up at the moon. He couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, he could feel a little warmer than he was before. He wondered if, when he was Somebody, he had taken friends for granted.

The silence didn't seem quite so pressing as it had before, but that didn't mean he wanted to spend the rest of the evening sitting quietly. He turned to Axel, who had kept a slight smile on his face.

"Hey, Axel, why couldn't you sleep?" The redhead blinked, and Roxas wondered if that was a frown on the other's face, but if it had been there, the other man had quickly blown it away with a grin.

"You first." Roxas narrowed his eyes slightly, not sure if the redhead really cared, or if he was just trying to avoid the question. Still, if he answered, maybe that would convince the other. He drew in his breath, wrapping his arms around his knees a little tighter.

"I was sleeping, but then I woke up, and... Well..." He focused on the moon, not daring to look at the Axel as he spoke.

"Sometimes I think that if I go to sleep, I'll never wake up. If I don't go out and sit in the light, I'll just fade back into the darkness, and no one would miss me, or even remember me. Sometimes when I lie down on my bed in the pitch black, waiting to fall asleep, I end up wide awake because I feel like I'm already starting to drift apart, and that pieces of me are floating around the room, just waiting for someone to open the door so they can scatter when the light hits them, or so the light can just burn the bits of darkness away. Sometimes I feel so empty and hollow that I wonder if I really _do_ exist." He chanced a peek over at Axel, who was staring at him. His cheeks, which had finally gone back to their usual color, flamed up again, and he buried his face between his knees. "Nevermind, just forget I said anything," he muttered into the fabric of his pants.

"Hmm, you've got a morbid mind at night, don't you kiddo?" Axel's voice was light, and Roxas heard the man shift beside him.

"Not that I can really talk. I was remembering when I died."

Roxas' head shot up, and he stared openly as Axel fell silent.

"You mean, your remember when you were Somebody?" Axel gave him an irritated look.

"I'm somebody _now_, kiddo. I'm Axel! Didn't I tell you to keep it memorized?" Roxas opened his mouth to protest, but Axel spoke over him. "I remember when I was somebody _else_, though, yes. At least, bits and pieces. Tonight, I remembered the very end- or near enough to the end, anyway- and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinkin' about.. Well... I don't want to be too morbid. Anyway, suffice to say, I couldn't get back to sleep."

Roxas wasn't sure what to say. Axel didn't seem all that inclined to speak again either. They sat for a few moments, in what might have been an uncomfortable and awkward silence, but neither were quite ready to get up and leave.

"And," Axel added, seemingly off-handed, "I also remembered one of my friends. He was a lot like you, I think. Or you're a lot like him. Same difference, right?" Again, Roxas wasn't sure what to say, but this time, Axel didn't have anything else to say. So, in order to try to get the older man to open up, he tentatively spoke up.

"What was he like, your friend?" Axel seemed startled, and looked down, wondering at Roxas' attempted conversation. He blinked a few moments, then grinned, and ruffled Roxas' hair again.

"Well, to start off with, he had the same crazy hairdo you do. Same bright blue eyes too. But he was older, and a lot taller. He also mastered angsting at an early age; you could learn from him, kiddo." He winked at Roxas, who glared at him, which sent the redhead into a fit of chuckles again. Then his smile turned bittersweet, his gaze going back to the moon, though his hand remained on Roxas' head.

"I can't remember all that much, really. I just remember he was kind of... blank, towards the end. He acted as if he'd had his soul taken from him. He wasn't a heartless, mind you, but he acted like one. I think he was in so much pain he just kinda... snapped."

Roxas remained still under the older man's hand, feeling the fingers clench a little as Axel thought about The End. He tried to get a look at the other's face, peeking through the bangs that had been squashed into his eyes. The expression Axel had made Roxas wonder who had ever made up the idea that you had to have a heart to feel emotions. The man was obviously troubled, if not downright depressed. Never, in the months he had been in the organization, had Roxas ever seen such an expression on the happy-go-lucky Axel. Axel didn't get depressed, he was the hyperactive pyromaniac that kept the higher ups (or lower-downs, depending on if you were considering them by rank or by number) on their toes. Axel was the one who was always annoyingly cheerful. He wasn't allowed to angst. It went against every law in nature.

"Did he die?" Roxas winced even as he said it, but he couldn't think of any other way to phrase it. Ah well. Axel always did call him blunt to a point.

Axel released Roxas' head, as if realizing for the first time he'd been petting the boy's hair for the past few minutes. He frowned, chewed on his lip, then stared back up at the moon.

"No."

"Then why are you so upset? Just because you died?" Axel gave a forced laugh, his smile strained.

"Haha, kid, you speak of death so lightly..." Roxas shook his head, determined to set the laws of nature back on their set course.

"No, Im serious. It sounds like you were protecting your friend, right?" Axel nodded, and Roxas continued, "so you died protecting him. You gave your life for your best friend, and because you made that sacrifice, he's alive. You get to go on, in this existence, knowing your death meant something! Your death had a purpose, and even if it hurts to remember it, you still know that it had meaning!" He was shouting now, and Axel looked completely taken aback by the volume of his accusation, but he had to press on, get it out.

"You remember how you died, and that isn't enough for you? You have memories! You remember bits of who you were, and you know why you're here! You remember enough of your old self to remember how you had the strength to go on, and how you were able to keep your will even in the utter darkness! Isn't that enough for you, knowing that you were able to fight against it and win, and why? Isn't it enough?" He blinked, seeing the look of pity on Axel's face, and that's when he felt the warm tracts that marked the paths of his tears. He reached up to wipe one away, and stared down at his fingers.

"Oi, kiddo, calm down." Axel had stood up, and with the swipe of an arm tucked Roxas against his chest, ruffling his hair again. Roxas rubbed at his eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears, but didn't try to break away from Axel's loose hold. Axel sighed, looking down at the city.

"Ok, for starters, kiddo, I'm not upset that I gave my life for my friend. I'd do it again in a.. well, not a heartbeat, but I'd do it again, no questions asked. I'm glad I was able to save him, even if he did end up a little more messed up than when we started out. He'll snap out of his angst-fest mode eventually, I know he will." Roxas didn't reply, though he did give a rather loud sniff. Axel smirked, and continued.

"Secondly, I don't remember everything- never will, either. And I don't want to. I'm me. I just happened to be someone else too, you know? But I'm here now, and no matter what I remember, I'll always just be me, Axel. Keep it memorized," he added with a grin.

"Thirdly, don't worry about your memories. Like I said when we first met, memories aren't everything. You'll remember more later, and if you don't, who cares? You're here now, and you're you. And you always will be, whether you like it or not. So buck up." He cuffed Roxas under the chin.

"Fourthly, I wasn't upset about my death so much as I remembered what it was like to have a heart, and for a moment, I almost felt alive again. I couldn't get back to sleep because I couldn't tell if I really was who I am or not. And, well, ok, dying again kinda weirded me out. It was like a phantom limb or wound- you can feel it itching, but you can't touch it, you know? I was just getting plagued by phantom memories, that's all.

"And fifthly.. Well, I can't remember what the fifth thing I was going to say was. Ah well. Must not've been that important. Anyway," he said, giving Roxas' hair a final tussle before stepping back, "it's past your bedtime. You should head back inside." Roxas furiously scrubbed away the remaining wetness on his cheeks.

"What about you?" he asked, coughing to get his voice under control. To his credit, Axel didn't say anything, just gave him one of his classic inane grins.

"I'm gonna hang out here a little longer, stare at the moon, come up with some brilliant plans to get some more hearts and harass the others while I'm at it. Don't worry," he said, winking, "if I get caught, I'll just blame Demyx, like I always do."

"You'd think they'd all catch on, at some point..." murmured Roxas, thinking about the unfortunate blonde's fate but not really caring. "I mean, there are only so many times you can accuse a guy of painting the dining hall with pink hearts in his sleep." Roxas smiled a little, then tilted his head to the side, slightly.

"Mind if I sit with you a little longer, even if it is past my bedtime?" The redhead's grin was answer enough, and the two sat back down, staring at the moon again.

* * *

Xenmas had to admit, Demyx's night habits were starting to get out of hand. In fact, he was sure that the blonde was in collusion with someone, but no one would fess up to it, and, in retrospect, he supposed he didn't blame them. He had a nagging suspicion it was Axel, but the redhead had an alibi, Roxas swearing the two had been out staring at the moon all night. He'd say they were in it together, in fact, except for the fact that Roxas had no sense of humor, or any seeming personality, for that matter. He just couldn't fathom the little keyblade wielder being able to lie to him with such a straight face. Luxord, maybe, but Roxas? Never.

Yes, the little water-user had certainly gone too far. He would deal with the man, as soon as he could get the brilliant pink dye out of his shampoo. In the meantime, however, it would be best to lay low, and devise plans for revenge. Because when he got out of his room, someone would pay.

-owari-

* * *

_I know Roxas was a weepy little sissy girl in this, and Axel was an angst-muffin. But I couldn't figure out how else to write it. Anyway... I want to draw a picture of Xenmas with hot pink hair XD In the meantime, I'll just post this here and on my devart page with a little preview. Please let me know what you think of these stories so far, let me know if you want more humor, or just more random thoughts stories. Because, kiddies, we've still got, um... (Counts on fingers and toes) uh, 17 more to go... Thanks for reading, and please do leave a review!_


	5. All For The Best

**All For The Best**

"What are you doing? How could you?"

The blonde girl's pencil stilled, poised over the sketch she'd been working on, then she returned to her drawing. She didn't look up, despite the accusative voice that had shouted at her, she simply continued the long strokes of her pencil, stopping only to change colors. Only when the cloaked figure stepped forward and yanked the sketchbook from her fingers did she pay attention to him. She remained implacable, however, simply looking up at him.

"I'm doing exactly what I said I would. Nothing more," she said calmly, returning his angry glare with a collected gaze. Axel tore down his hood, glaring at the girl and held the notebook out of reach.

"I told you to take _Sora_'s memories!"

"I did."

"Yes, you did! But I didn't say anything about Roxas!" Axel threw the notebook onto the table, bringing his hand up to run his fingers through his red spikes. Namine simply stared back at him, then reached over to retrieve her notebook from the table. She flipped through the pages to return to the sketch she had been working on before Axel had taken it. She looked down at the page, and sighed, picking up her pencil again.

" That's not true. You mentioned Roxas when you told me to take Sora's memories, Axel. Don't you remember?" She flipped the page and began a new sketch, "You wanted me to take Sora's memories for Roxas. So I did."

"That's not the point!" shouted Axel, clenching his hands into fists, "I wanted you to take Sora's memories so that Roxas could have a better existence! So that he could start feeling again! You know that!" Namine remained quiet as Axel's eyes narrowed. "That was all that was in our agreement. I didn't say give Sora's memories to Roxas!"

"But what else was I supposed to do with Sora's memories? Roxas needed them so he could become whole-"

"That's not the point, dammit!" shouted Axel again, slamming his fists on the table. He stared at them, blinking, "It's not..." he trailed off, and Namine sighed, reaching for a different color.

"It is, Axel, and you know it. You remember what you said to me, when we first met?" Axel made a disgusted noise, and walked away from the table, heading towards the window. Namine continued, frowning as she concentrated on getting the face she was drawing proportioned. "You said, 'I want you to take Sora's memories, so that Roxas can get better.' I agreed with you at the time, and I did what I said. Now that I'm giving them back to Roxas, you're angry with me? I know it wasn't exactly what you had in mind, but didn't you say you wanted what was best for Roxas? Since he was special? I'm doing what's best for him." She switched colors again, but paused before she touched the paper. She frowned at the page, her voice soft.

"I know it's hard, but it's for the best. He needs to be whole again. Don't you want to give him that chance?"Axel gave a bitter laugh at this, and pulled back the curtain to look over the sleepy forest. Streams of twilight sun came into the room, giving the sterile white a new look as pinks, purples, yellows and golds stained the different surfaces. Axel remained unmoved, his attention on the little town beyond the trees outside the mansion. He gave another laugh, softer.

"You know," he said, "when I came back from the castle of oblivion, the first person I met was Roxas. You know what he did? He smiled at me," Axel laughed again, keeping his gaze out the window, though his fingers dug into the white fabric. "It was the first time he'd ever smiled, let alone at me. And any lingering guilt I might have had disappeared when he said he was glad to see me back in one piece. I knew Roxas was already better, even after that short time had passed." He turned to glare back at her. "So why did you take away his memories? Why did you have to destroy everything he'd made for himself? Why?" his voice cracked, and he turned back to the window, "why did you take him away?"

"Because Sora needed him."

"I needed him!" Axel shouted again, his fist glowing with the fire that danced around his knuckles. Namine remained firm.

"He needed Sora." Axel opened his mouth to retort, shut it, and turned to open the window to stare out once again.

"But... I miss him. It's not the same without him," Axel said, bringing up a hand to place on the glass. "What am I supposed to do?" he whispered, his fingers curling on the windowpane.

"I suggest you go find him," Axel turned to look at Namine, who had finished another picture and was turning to a new page. "Go find him, and say goodbye."

Axel stared at her, and she gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Don't worry, when Roxas becomes whole, he'll have a heart again." Axel slumped against the wall, his argument's passion already dying out. Namine continued, glancing up at him before returning her gaze and pencil to paper. "And with his heart returned, he'll always have a place for you, so you can always be with him. He may not realize it, at first, but he'll never forget you." Axel stood again, back straight, eyes forward.

"I'd better go make a lasting impression then, huh?" She gave him another sympathetic smile, but his face was cold, and he disappeared into the dome of darkness to go confront Roxas in the manor's basement. She looked down again, at the picture in her hands, and sighed.

The young boy in the picture smiled serenely, the dirty blonde hair spiking out at odd angles over his face. His hand was to his heart, and in the background, a figure with bright red hair waved goodbye over his shoulder.

She closed the notebook, and hugged it to her chest.

"I'm sorry,' she whispered, the tiny voice echoing in the stark white room. "But it's for the best."

* * *

_Another one... This story has gotten over 500 hits, but only1 review. I'm guessing you guys like it, even if you won't tell me so. Umm... PLEASE review? It will make my day, really! Also, if anyone knows of any great AkuRoku fics out there, let me know about them! I'm always on the prowl for more good stories to read.. Thanks for reading!_


	6. Deep Divide

**Deep Divide**

Axel gave a languid stretch and a long yawn as he walked into the common area, running fingers through his hair in a half-hearted attempt of taming the wild spikes. Not that anyone really cared what his hair looked like, including himself, but he still went through the motions sometimes, when he was still half asleep, as he was at that moment. He'd gotten in late last night from another of Xenmas' inane quests (trying to hunt down a golden zipper for the leader's coat but upon failing in locating one declaring it didn't matter on the premise that it looked tacky anyway) and figured no one would notice if he slept in late.

Turned out he was right, despite the fact that everyone was in the room at once- a rare enough occurrence that "the superior" was probably doing a jig. Except for the fact that Axel could see said superior, and Xenmas was far from doing a dance. Actually, he wasn't doing anything, he was just staring out the window at the rain soaked streets, apparently enraptured with whatever had caught his attention. This wouldn't be so strange, in Axel's mind- Xenmas had an odd habit of staring off into space for long periods of time and muttering things about darkness under his breath- had it not been for the fact that everyone else was gazing out the same window, just as silent as their vapid leader.

Now, _this_ was something. The last time they'd all done something like this, it was the night of Roxas' arrival. Granted, he'd been a little late getting to that meeting too, and had thus been sent out as errand boy to retrieve their thirteenth member, but in retrospect, that hadn't been so bad. He liked to think dealing with the confused and sullen boy that night had helped them form a bond, even if the kids seemed to hate him for the first few weeks. But some instinct told him that tonight would be a bit different. The nervous tittering that had filled the room the time previous was gone, the room now filled with a pensive silence. He could feel the tension in the air, and would have laughed as they seemed to take a collective breath together, but it didn't seem the time or place, really. Instead, he leaned against the door frame, rubbing out the rest of the sleep from his eyes and wondered if it would be worth it to push through and see what they were all ogling.

He didn't have to wonder too long, however, as they all took a step forward and peered further into the streets below. There seemed to be some kind of odd glow emanating from somewhere below the building, though where it would propagate he didn't know- the street had nothing but pavement below them, it certainly didn't contain anything that would produce that kind of light. He took a few steps forward to see for himself what all the hubbub was about, and almost got trampled as the group took a collective step backwards, cloak zippers and ornaments jingling in unison. Bright red eyebrows rose to previously unreached heights as Axel caught sight of a large black form falling in front of the windows they'd been looking through.

"What the Hell? We got some kind of big heartless bat problem or something?" A few of the more excitable members jumped at the sound of his voice, Demyx going so far as to drop the sitar he'd been hugging to his chest. The more imperturbable members simply gave him a look before turning to gaze out the window again. Only Demyx and Xenmas continued to look at him as the group returned their attention below.

"Axel," the low voice of his superior called to him, the cold tone unsettling Axel further. Xenmas smirked as he saw the redhead flinch, and tilted his head slightly, as though to get a better look at the man. Axel tried to stand still, but he couldn't help the nervous twinge in his stomach, the feeling that was building up-despite the fact that he technically couldn't have it, having no heart and everything- left him slightly trembling. He knew that in a fight, Xenmas would be able to wipe the floor with him, but that didn't mean he couldn't be both completely enraged and scared to death at the same time. He clenched his fists to control them, telling himself there was no reason to be afraid. Xenmas only seemed amused at his reaction.

"I'd ask why you're late, but it doesn't really matter. A pity, though. You've missed most of the show." Xenmas looked over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing as he watched whatever scene was going on below. His smirk grew into a grin. "Oh my, what a turn of events _this_ is. Really, Axel, you must come watch. How very entertaining. What an interesting move my puppet has just made."

Axel blinked, the words seeping in. Puppet? There hadn't been any more 'puppets' since that incident with the Riku clone back at that bloody castle, what did he mean, puppet? Unless he meant... Axel's eyes narrowed, and he glanced at Demyx, the only other member who had yet to go back to watching the spectacle. Number nine's bright blues eyes were wide, his face openly fearful. He had picked up his sitar again and was squeezing it so hard, Axel was surprised the strings hadn't snapped, or the neck broken. Demyx was also chewing on his lip- had been for some time, if the broken skin and redness had anything to do with it. He gave a pleading look to Axel for support, though visibly shrunk back to the wall as Xenmas turned his attention to him. The young water user whimpered, and cradled his head behind the instrument's neck, using it as a shield to block his superior's cold gaze. Axel did a quick head count, and his spirits sank as he realized he'd misjudged his earlier calculation. They were, in fact, missing one person; the only person other than himself whom Demyx would show concern for, and the only one Xenmas ever really enjoyed claiming as "his".

"Where's Roxas?"

Xenmas laughed, the malevolent sound echoing in the sterile white room.

"Took you a bit, didn't it? But then, you were always quick to passion, never to thought." Axel returned the cold look Xenmas was giving him, but a little fire was seeping out of him, his control weakening as his anger grew, the sparks flicking off him growing in size and intensity.

"What's going on? What is he doing?" Xenmas only continued to grin, his yellow eyes narrowed and his pupils thin slits. It was Demyx who spoke up, his voice tremulous.

"We didn't know what was going on. Roxas had left earlier this evening, said something about going for a walk on a beach, but then later there was shouting, and heartless appeared everywhere from nowhere, so we started to set up a defense and counterattack with the dusks. I saw Roxas at the entrance, but he was so angry, still shouting and killing everything that came near him, and that's when I saw the other figure in black, I thought it was you, but Roxas was screaming bloody murder at him, and I knew he'd never be able to shout at you like that. I don't know how he'd gotten in, but Riku made it into the halls and confronted Roxas, and I don't know how long they'd been talking, but Roxas was so angry, and Riku was shouting too, and-" he broke off, his voice catching in his throat. He cleared it to finish in a slightly lower tone, "they both ran outside to continue their fight. I tried to help Roxas, but he-" again, the water user stopped, licking his lips and casting a desperate glance over his shoulder, a look of misery on his face.

"I've never seen him so angry before, Axel," was all the young man could whisper before returning to chewing on his lips, casting more glances out the window. Xenmas simply laughed.

"Yes, well, his anger feeds on the darkness inside of him. I cannot wait until-"

"How much does he know? How much did Riku tell him?" Axel ignored the organization's leader, concentrating on the younger man, one of the few he would call friends in this god-forsaken place. Demyx, simply shook his head, refusing to answer. Xenmas spoke again, turning back to the window.

"Hm, well, it looks like it's almost over now anyway. What a commendable job Riku's done in breaking his spirit; put my little puppet in top order, I see. It will be a bother patching him up again, but when you can chose what to fix and what to replace, the puppet will end up better than before. I think my little keyblade master will shape up most nicely. All he has to do now is rid us of that bothersome boy, and-"

Axel didn't stay to hear the rest. He shot out the door, which had seemed a better solution than going and killing Xenmas, which was what every muscle in his body was aching to do. Instead, he put that anger into teleporting to the streets below as quickly as he could, the darkness of his spell almost unable to mask the flames of his fury. As he splashed down onto the street below, he felt the icy chill of fear grip him as he saw one of the figures sprawled out on the ground, blood rapidly pooling beneath him to mix with the puddles left by the evening's rain.

He called out to Roxas, and the figure that had remained standing shifted, reacting to his voice, although he didn't turn to face the older man. Roxas stared down at the pale form of Riku, whose white skin was mottled with bruises and blood, and whose white hair was dark with the grime of the streets. Axel paused a few feet away, staring at the body of the boy on the ground. Roxas had done that? He stepped cautiously towards the blonde, willing himself to calm down so he wouldn't burn the boy as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me."

Axel retracted the hand that had gone out wincing as though he'd been struck. Instead of allowing the effect of the command show, he folded his arms over his chest and tried to force gaiety into his voice.

"Wow, Roxas, you really beat the crap out of this guy-"

"His name is Riku, Axel. Don't pretend like you don't know who he is." Axel took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Roxas' voice was harsh, curt to the point of being rude. This wouldn't have bothered him so much, had it not been for the fact that Roxas only spoke to Xenmas like that, the blonde usually only keeping his fury in reserve for the man that tried to break him and bend him to his will. Axel couldn't stand the frost in the boy's tone, he wanted him to turn and laugh, maybe complain about how much he'd hurt in the morning, or how Axel was late again. He hated that coldness, the icy chill and the frozen stance the boy was exuding. He wanted to ruffle that messy mop of hair, tell the kid to lighten up, melt away some of that ice with his usual spark of humor, and hear the usual irritated muttering the boy always spoke when Axel teased him. This was not the Roxas he knew, this wet, still warrior whose weapons dripped with blood and rain, whose stance was tense in preparation for another attack. The Roxas he knew would never raise a weapon against him, would never dream of hurting one of the only two people who actually cared about him. Roxas had always said that friends had to watch out for each other, that they could never allow harm to befall the other.

Axel wondered how much he had already hurt the young boy, and if Roxas would ever forgive him.

He didn't even try to force the cheerfulness back into his voice. He suddenly felt very tired, wanting nothing more than to crawl back into the shadows of darkness and let them wrap him in their embrace so he could sleep until the place that never was really wasn't anymore. He didn't want to be here, standing in the wet streets, trying to explain to Roxas why he'd done what he'd done, and why it had been for Roxas' own good. Why he'd kept quiet about certain things, why he'd shielded the boy from the truth, and how he'd wanted to tell him, but couldn't. How he'd tell him anything now, if he only wouldn't be so angry. He doubted the boy would listen to anything he said now, though. Still, he had to try.

"Riku always was too cocky for his own good. He and Sora-" Axel cut off his sentence, the keyblade now pressing into his throat. Roxas' blue eyes were narrow slits, but his face a stone mask, devoid of any feeling, even hatred. Even at his most apathetic, Roxas usually displayed some emotion. This stillness... was unnerving, to say the least. The blade at his jugular didn't bother him as much as the thought of Roxas never trusting him again. Even if the blonde would forgive him later- and there was no reason he should; Axel wouldn't, if the situation was reversed- Axel was sure that Roxas was feeling the closest thing a nobody could ever feel to complete rage. And, in truth, he himself was probably feeling the closest thing to fear. Not for his life, but of the chance that Roxas would never forgive him, and that every misery the blonde felt would be a direct result of his own meddling.

"Don't you mean, Riku and ME? I'm Sora. You knew it, and you never told me." Axel didn't want to lie; he also didn't want to accidentally slit his own throat. He decided to let the keyblade master have his say before interrupting and destroying everything they'd spent the last year gaining together. If he hadn't lost it already. Roxas's cold demeanor warmed a little when his voice cracked.

"Axel... why? I asked you and you told me that you had no idea who I was! You looked me square in the eyes, and lied flat out in my face! How could you? Why did you lie to me? Why did I have to have some stranger come find me and tell me everything? I trusted you! And you lied to me!"

Roxas shoved Axel away, the keyblades whistling as they spun in his hands. He turned his glare back to the body beneath him, Riku apparently beginning to come round. The black blade sliced down towards the boy's throat, making the downed youth gasp, then cough at the effort. Hell, if Axel didn't do something soon, the kid would die. He didn't have a soft spot for the boy or anything, but Riku had been important to Sora. Roxas. But they weren't the same person, didn't he understand?

"I'm not Sora!" Oh good, apparently he did. "I'm not! I don't care if that's who I was, it doesn't matter! I'm Roxas! Roxas! I'm not going with you just so I can become your friend! Sora is dead, and I'm all that's left. Move on with your life, and leave me to mine!" Roxas was shouting at a seemingly comatose Riku, but Axel didn't try to interfere, not wanting to get clipped by one of the giant keys. The only sound, for a moment, was the rasping of the downed boy's breath, the panting of Roxas, and the dripping of water into puddles below.

Then, Riku began to laugh.

Or wheeze, rather. And the wheeze turned into a cough, as he overworked broken ribs and tender muscles. Still, the silver haired youth was stronger than he looked. He forced himself up with an elbow, smirking up at Roxas.

"But Sora is alive. He just needs you to complete him. You weren't supposed to exist- you're a nobody. Sora is important, the worlds need him, he's the true keyblade master. You're nothing more than a phantom memory. The world has no need of things better left forgotten." He collapsed as Roxas delivered a vicious kick in the ribs, crying out before he fell unconscious again. Roxas raised his blades to finish what he'd begun, only to be restrained by Axel.

"Don't" the redhead said, quietly, "don't for Sora's sake. They're best friends. It would be... wrong." Roxas struggled in the hold, but to no avail. Thrashing this way and that, he attempted to break the grip keeping him back. Not being able to lash out physically, he bit with words.

"So, now that I know, you're going to call me Sora now, huh? Call me by my _somebody_ name? What, did you think that if you could trick me into liking you, I'd help you get a heart? You just befriended me because I can use the keyblades, right? That's the only reason why you were nice to me! It was all just a trick! Did Xenmas set you up to gain my trust since his plans didn't work? You had me taken in-"

Roxas' rant broke off as Axel's arm tightened around his neck. Holding thirteen in a headlock was the only way to keep the blonde under control, and he'd tried to be gentle, but he'd be damned if he'd allow Roxas to imply any conspiracy between himself and Xenmas. He hissed into Roxas' ear as he continued to maneuver the boy backwards.

"Don't be so kitsch. You know I'd never cooperate with Xenmas to do anything against you or Demyx, so don't say anything like that again. C'mon, let's get out of here." Axel was almost glad at this moment that he didn't have a heart- for being a nobody incapable of feeling or emotions, it sure felt like he could. If the anger, the hurt and the fear he was going through were only shadows of real emotion, he'd hate to know what it felt like to be a somebody. He'd probably be torn apart.

Luckily, however, Axel was spared morbid thoughts of a somebody's undoing by raw emotion by a timely intervention by Roxas. He grunted as one of Roxas' captured limbs rammed him in the stomach. Still, he didn't release his hold on the boy. He simply stood his ground and waited while the boy wore himself out. Roxas continued to wriggle and flail, occasionally getting a hit, but without enough force behind them to do any good. As Axel felt the barrage subside, he was glad, not for the first time, that the boy was small enough to scoop up and cart away, if a little awkwardly. Roxas, however, would have none of it. With the undignified position of being carried like a child or someone helpless, his attacks began again with renewed vigor. He continued to kick and shout, even as Axel strode away from the bloody mess of Riku, shouting curses and trying to get Axel's head with his keyblades.

"Damnit, let me go!" Axel was able to retain a collected facade, however, having spent the last few minutes of silent struggling rebuilding his confidence that what he had done was for the best. He didn't know how long it would last, of course, but it was working at the moment, and he wasn't going to push his luck. He kept his replies short and succinct, concentrating on getting out of eyesight of both Riku and the yellow eyes of their superior.

"If I put you down, what will you do?" was all he asked.

"I'm going back to finish the job, that's what! Let go-"

"Yeah, that's what I figured you say. So-o", he said, stumbling over the syllable as Roxas' fist connected with a cheek, "I'm not letting go until you calm down, kiddo. Deep breath, slow exhale. I know you're pretty pissed with me, and I don't blame you, but I want you to hear me out. I need you to be calm and rational so you'll _listen_ to me, though, so until I can trust you to not run back and kill Riku, and not try to finish the job by killing me, I'm going to continue to treat you like a spoiled little brat until you start acting civilized!" He couldn't help it, though he'd tried not to shout. Roxas was being so childish, though, and if he could just explain... he glared at the boy as another fist connected, this time with the other cheek.

"Dammit, Roxas!" he shouted, the anger starting to overcome his guilt and his irritation beginning to crumble away his walls of self-restraint. If the kid kept going like this, he'd make Axel snap, and they'd both get burned, figuratively and literally. He was about to give the youth a good shake and a taste of his own anger, but he stopped when he saw the tears rolling down the boy's face, and he wondered how long the kicks and punches had been used to cover up the sobs racking the blonde's body. Axel sighed, shifting his grip on the youth to a cradling embrace as the anger started to melt away, and the bile of guilt rose up again. Roxas still fought him, even as Axel forced him into the bear hug, but the blows were fewer and farther apart, and Axel was pretty sure that things were winding down. He touched a swelling cheek as the boy cried into his shoulder. "Dammit, Roxas," he muttered, wincing at the pain that shot along the side of his face.

He waited until Roxas was still, the boy stiff and silent in his hold. He sighed again, wishing he could just teleport the two of them away so they could talk in a better place than the middle of the streets or a secluded alleyway. But, as much as he hated the man, he still had to answer to Xenmas, and number one would demand to know why he'd felt it necessary to take Roxas somewhere else, and what they had done in their time out of his sight. As it was, he pulled the boy to the side of the street, trying to get whatever privacy he could from the overhang of one of the buildings. Roxas remained unresponsive, his rigid limbs slackening as he was scooped up yet again and carted to a secluded nook in the streets. Axel sighed yet again, biting back a lecture about how the boy needed to not go so willingly into dark, secluded corners with suspicious characters who could do all sorts of terrible things to him. He really didn't think the joke would bring any levity to the situation; a joke would probably either end up giving him a bloody nose, or start the boy struggling again. Roxas remained oblivious, staring at his feet as Axel plunked him down and propped him up against the building's wall.

Axel ran fingers through his hair, letting his breath out in a low hiss as he realized where, exactly, they were. Things hardly ever changed in this world, and the alleyway where he had first met Roxas was no exception. Even the bottle of elixer he'd given the boy was still there, laying listless and unbroken by the fallen construction beam. Axel shivered at what the implications might be. Another new beginning? He couldn't help but feel it was the beginning of the end.

Roxas continued to sit rag-doll like, so Axel straightened and tried to think of a good way to start. 'Sorry I lied to you and made you feel like shit' didn't quite seem the right thing to say. Still, it was a place to start.

"I'm sorry, Roxas." He waited a few moments, trying to see if that got a response out of the boy. The blonde continued to stare at his feet, though, and for a moment, Axel wondered if he'd put him in the 'sleeper hold' too long and had inadvertently given the boy brain damage. He leaned down to see if Roxas was drooling, and the ice blue eyes shifted to the side to avoid eye contact. So, he was listening, just not replying. Things could be worse. He plowed ahead, trying to take heart in the fact that Roxas hadn't bolted, tried to kill him or broken down into tears again. He wasn't sure what he'd do if any of those things happened, but he didn't want to dwell on it.

"Look, I know you probably don't believe me when I tell you this, and I guess you have good reason not to, considering the circumstances, but I'm asking you to listen to me for a bit. Hear me out, and you're free to beat me up afterwards, if it'll make you feel better." Roxas still didn't move, and he sighed, leaning against the wall and staring up into the dark sky. His eyes caught the moon, and for a moment he was caught up in the pale glow those stolen hearts gave out, transfixed by the light given by off by lives that had been prematurely snuffed for the darkness. He was shaken out of his reverie when the dull voice of his friend broke the silence.

"I'm listening."

Axel nearly jumped, breaking his gaze from the heavens to look down upon the sullen boy, unnerved by the flat tone. Roxas's gaze remained fixed at his feet, however, boy's willingness to listen was a start. Axel took a deep breath and began again.

"I admit, the first time I met you, I wasn't sure how to treat you. Not just because you were the keyblade master, but because Xenmas told me it was important to make sure you were loyal to the organization. I didn't want to get tangled with any lapdogs of Xenmas... but you just seemed so lost, like a puppy." He smiled lightly at his joke, but the grin faded as Roxas remained mute. He went on, disheartened (no pun intended). "But then, as I got to know you, I realized I couldn't help but want to be near you. You've got some kind of gravity spell or something on you- you can't help but draw people to you. I swear, I didn't even know anything about who you really were until the castle."

They both flinched at that, Axel at the memory of his meeting with Xenmas before departure about his 'assignment', Roxas because Riku must have told him about that bit too. Interesting. How long had they talked before Roxas had tried to kill the other boy? Things could get tricky, if he wasn't careful.

"Anyway, I didn't know what to expect. Xenmas told me that I was supposed to go meet the keyblade master, and either turn him to our side or destroy him. He told me that if Sora lost his memories, you'd become stronger, more complete. If he was destroyed, you'd get all the power Sora had kept, and I knew how much you had always said you didn't feel quite right. I figured if I could delay Sora a little, even a little, you'd start to recover. Not your memories or anything, but some spirit. You never reacted to anything before the castle. I figured I might as well go meet Sora, see what he was like." Axel paused, remembering the day he met the brunette.

"And you know what? Sora was a lot like you. You're both stubborn, obstinate and completely adorable when you're flustered or angry."Axel saw shoulders stiffen, but he wasn't sure if that was because he said the two were similar, or because he thought Roxas was adorable when stubborn. Whatever, that was beside the point. He continued on, watching the reactions of the other closely.

"But not completely. For one thing, he was always running headfirst into the most obvious traps, blindly making and then following through the stupidest promises. You're always one to make sure that whatever you do is always the best action, and everything you say has already weighed out the consequences of your words. You're also not quite as quick to forgive, though I hope you'll make an exception in this case." He let the words hang a moment, didn't get a response. He continued, wondering if he'd ever hear the boy speak again.

"Anyway, Sora went to sleep, and I could call my duty done. I came back, made my report to Xenmas, and went to go tell you everything I'd learned, Xenmas be damned. But then... When we met in the halls, you caught me off guard, talked to me... and smiled. You'd never done that before, not to anyone. And, when you asked me what it was I wanted to tell you... I couldn't. I just couldn't risk never seeing you smile again. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted to tell you... but even more, I wanted you to be happy. So, even when you asked me, tried to get the truth out of me... I just couldn't tell you. I didn't want you to hate me. For what I'd done, for what I hadn't said. I didn't want to lose my best friend. I was a coward, and I knew it would hurt you if you found out, and I was afraid you wouldn't forgive me, so I just couldn't. I'm sorry."

The silence hung between them, but Axel couldn't think of anything else to fill the gap, so he forced himself to remain quiet, figuring babble would probably be detrimental to what he'd said at this point. It was several moments before Roxas had any response. He sighed, and stood up, staring out into the street.

"It is not entirely all your fault, Axel. I'm partly to blame as well." Axel frowned, not really sure how it was Roxas' fault at all, but he didn't want to interrupt the only coherent words the blonde had spoken in almost an hour.Roxas's eyes narrowed, as though chastising himself, and waved his hands, the keyblades that had been laying idly aside the whole time coming to his hands. He looked over them, thoughtfully, then waved them away in dismissal before wiping away some of the blood that had stained his jacket and gloves. His tone remained cold, however, as he went about straightening his appearance.

"My mistake was thinking that since I had emotions, I existed. I forgot who and what I was. A nobody. I won't do that again."

Roxas' reply was succinct, his blue eyes dull, his posture rigid. This time, however, he faced Axel and stared across at the man, eyes narrowed and mouth a firm line. Axel wanted to sink into the wall, both from the look and the words. He couldn't stop a flinch as Roxas continued.

"I don't know if I can forgive you. I don't know if I want to forgive you. Leave me alone. If I want to, I'll talk to you. Don't get in my way, and stay out of my business." He turned to walk towards the building, and didn't bother turning back as he spoke one last time.

"Riku will come again, he swore he would. And I'll fight him again, and again, until I kill him. If you try to stop me next time, I'll kill you too."

Axel paused, staring after the rigid form of his best friend.

"Roxas..." he sighed, finally closing his eyes and slumping against the wall. He smacked a fisted hand into the bricks, ignoring the flare of pain and the hot trickle of blood that began seeping from his knuckles. He listened as the footsteps of Roxas faded, listened unmoving as Riku cast the spell to open the dark gate for escape, listened until there was nothing but what must have been the drops of water falling from a clear night sky. For once, he wished it would rain, so that something other than silence would fill the deep divide that now yawned between them.

_owari_

* * *

_I was __inspired to write this story after viewing an awesome picture on deviantart by blackwing-dias called "Deep Dive Capture", found here: _

http/ www. deviantart. com / view / 33425361 / (_just take out the spaces!)_

_It inspired me to think about what must've happened the first time Roxas and Riku met, however, I totally forgot about them meeting on a beach to start off with... Ah well. I hope Demyx's lines let me get away with it. I'm sure Roxas probably tried to deny everything, and so I say he ran back to the world that never was in order to start up the Deep Dive sequence. Yeah.. I'll go with that..._

_...And why do I always make Roxas a little sissy boy who always needs to be cuddled? That's not really how I see him, but apparently that's the only way I can write him. Ah well. I do think Roxas deserves all the hugs he can get, since his existence pretty much sucks. So, more love for Roxas! Yosh!_

_...Anyway..._

_Hope you guys enjoyed this one, and, as always, please let me know what you think! Til next time!_

_SLS_


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